I should be grateful....

Sitting in front of my pc, trying to finish all my work as soon as possible..but my head jammed at 11.30 am. I feel like dizzy for a while, confused looking on my desk, where all the files and the letter heap on top of another. What else I can do now??? I’ve to finish this entire thing before the end of today but I can’t! My ‘unhealthy condition’ push me to take rest for a while..and I started thinking about..other work that is much better than this work. In other word, means quit this job and try to do something else. Hai….if my mother know about this, I’m sure she will chatter against me. Sorry mum, but sometimes I can’t stand this job. I hate talking with people who believe that they are exactly true even they make mistake, and I hate being tied with protocol. Geezzz….what should I do with my dip in technology management if I have to work in this condition that is not really suitable with me, and the most important, I didn’t like this job after all. But I’ve no choice before, that between all my interviews, only this one is success and here I am now. I wish I can do something that I like, the job that I admire most. I wish to be a writer, and I’m still going on with it. After back from my work every day, I will try to finish my novel until midnight..with a dream that my novel will publish next year. Is it too old for me to be a writer? I have talent on this (not me said this, my teacher keep saying this to me when I was in secondary school)..and I hope I can build it after I got everything I need. Now, I’m concentrate on it, but for my work…I wish I can work in the world of marketing,. But not as a salesgirl. Here, in my position now, I also doing some marketing job, goes road show here and there, travel around Malaysia..but its doesn’t bring satisfaction in my life. Ah…maybe because of myself…

But when I think back again, I should grateful for this entire thing and my work. I’ve meet my friend, my school mate a week ago. She just come back from convocation in UTM Skudai, and surprise me, she looks older than the last time I saw her two years ago. Talking about our memories back then, she ask me about my work and I mentioned that I happy with it now (“m very hypocrite!) and now in process to buy a car. Maybe a Persona (I’m so interested with this new PROTON)..She looks so surprised and said that I’m a lucky girl. She sighed for a while, and started talking to me, after finish her study in Degree two months ago, she keep trying to find a job, but failed. She also said, “I’m a degree holder but I can’t find any good job. Its better if I continue to my previous job than further my study two years ago,”

I lost my word for a while, when I heard that. You’re much lucky than me, I said to myself. I wish to continue my study in degree, and she had it but now I’m in good position of my work, and she needed it. Back to my home, I keep thinking about it...my friends in UTM Skudai..they have degree, a master and good qualification, but they still jobless. I’m here now, I got a very good work, good salary, good boss..verything I have but I still ungrateful. Hmm…..

Because of this feeling, I’m stick on this job until now. Thinking of the last word from Tengku Zafrul Aziz’s article last two weeks, titled "A Body at rest tends to stay at rest while a body in motion tends to stay in motion".

“Employers may tell you that it’s not good to change jobs too often as it is a reflection of your fickleness and lack of loyalty but rather than listening to their words, I would suggest you look at where they put their money. Why else do you think they just rehired your colleague who quit five years ago for twice your salary?”